It Really Tied the Room Together

I'm currently watching The Big Lebowski. I Love it.
But really I wanted to write about some observations.
Sometimes, for me at least, I'll learn something that makes me feel so bad at first. Feel almost heartbroken, but the more I sit with it and think about it, it actually makes me feel ok. As if maybe the world isn't about to end after all, metaphorically of course.
This sort of thing just happened over the weekend. I found out something that made me feel crushed for a while. I felt like crying and curling up and staying in bed. But the more I thought about it, the more it set in to my brain, the better I began to feel. I was happy about life going on. Because it did. And it makes me feel that indeed even my life can go on. I've been smiling ever since.
Then again, maybe my little indulgence with a Scrumdiddlyumptious bar had a part in the smiling department.
Either way, I've been pretty happy these last few hours.
And I must confess my horrible obsession with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. But that's a blog for another time! It might be rather lengthy.

Sanitizing my Sanity

Although the weather has some catching up to do, its apparent that Autumn is in full swing here in South Texas.
The leaves aren't exactly turning yet (at least not here), but the fall allergens have come on full-force.
My nose is stuffy, my eyes are itchy and a little red (as is my skin). Yeah, that makes for good times (sarcastically said).
So for a brief period of time, I've decided to limit my outdoor time. It started out OK, but now I'm just going crazy. I can't be cooped up inside for very long because then my "obsessive compulsive" tendencies come out to play. I start cleaning. Now, cleaning isn't a bad thing at all....that is unless you are sitting on the floor of the tub with a toothbrush and a mixture of peroxide and baking soda, scrubbing the grout between the tiles. And right now, my body shouldn't be doing such things. Ordinarily I wouldn't care if my back was sore for a week, just so long as every surface was shiny and clean. This time, because of recent developments, I simply cannot. I'm just sitting here trying to do things to distract myself from the urge to clean, clean, clean. Even though things aren't dirty here. Just a little dusty. But its South Texas. Its always dusty.

Uh oh...

Have you ever met someone and knew, just knew, that he/she was meant for you? You look into that person's eyes and you see everything you've ever wanted and longed for. Your heart, your gut and your head all agree and tell you this person is the one.

When I Venture into the Darkside

I'm, generally, a pretty laid back person. Do you really see it from reading this blog? No. Not at all. Mostly because I wind up using it to vent. Alot. If you haven't noticed.
This is no different.
I am a laid back person. I usually go with the flow, I hardly ever have alot of drama in my life. More than likely I am being dragged into someone else's crap or elected by "friends" to solve their problems.
I don't mind that too much. It allows me to pull myself back after hours of talk with said afflicted persons and say to myself "Whew! I'm so glad I'm not (insert random name here, well, because you don't know my friends. Its ok, I know them well enough for us all :))
Although with this recent "friend break-up" with Mr. X which really left me torn and hurt, but mostly confused, I feel like a hypocrite for feeling bogged down with other people's problems. And I don't know why I'm even mentioning this, its way off subject here. I guess I just want to make sure people know that I know I'm a mess!
What I REALLY want to talk about is arrogance.
I HATE, with a passion, people who think they are better than others. Especially the type of people who would respond: "I don't think, I know!"
Yeah? Well, fuck you, buddy!
There is confidence and then there is straight douchbaggery. It's a very fine line.
Mostly this vent is coming from my recent encounters with pompous, arrogant wastes of space. And I love how most of the people have been men. Seriously. I hate that there are some men who look down on you because you are a woman. Not all men are like that, I know. Its just the ones which are that I wish I could hog tie and force sterilization upon to spare the rest of the decent population from having to put up with that blood line for much longer. That might be a little harsh. Just might.
Anyway.
Well, one encounter was over the fact that I didn't let some guy cut in line whilst trying to exit a restaurant parking lot. It was super packed and somehow this moron thought if he kept backing his car up, space would magically appear in front of my car so he could pull out. No such luck fuck-nut. And still he kept on going. I honked because he got within, no joke, half an inch from my car. Then he rolled down his back window to yell at me for not letting him in and became infuriated when I laughed and asked "Where the hell do you want me to go, I'm just as stuck as you are". So he decided to start yelling, while his kids were in the backseat no less, and calling names and turning red because I was laughing at him. He also didn't like that I had comebacks for his comments. Then when he was blocked in by other cars, I was able to squeeze out to make an exit. He was sent over the edge when the car in back of me immediately pulled up as I scooted out still leaving him blocked in. He thought it would solve ALLLLLL his problems if he got out of his car and demanded that I get out of mine. When I laughed and waved good-bye, He decided it would be ok to throw a rock at my car. No damage was done, it was more like a pebble, but it was enough for me to finally lose my cool, I flipped him the finger as I drove away yelling that I hope he has a fun time trying to get out of the crowded parking lot and commented on the fine example he was setting for his kids. Some other guys were getting out of their car in an attempt to pull him away if he got too close to me. They laughed at the things I was yelling.
Today, some other jack-ass in a store parking lot was cursing me because he thought I was going to steal the parking spot he had already "claimed". So fucking territorial. He looked like a rabid ape throwing his arms everywhere and making all sorts of gestures and he mouth going a mile a minute. You know what asshole? I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WINDOWS! And no, I didn't want to park there, I just wanted you to move your ginormous mammoth truck so I can pass by. He didn't even have the balls to confront me when I saw him in said store. Instead as he walked passed me with his girlfriend, who kept her eyes on the ground, giving me dirty looks. Was I scared? No, I stared him down and even gave him a "What? You don't have anything to say to me?" look.
I am, by no means, a weak woman. I have enough strength to back up my mouth. For fuck's sake, I've been able to beat up boys since I was a toddler. I had to hold my own growing up in a neighborhood dominated by males.
But I guess the big thing here is I just don't care. I don't care if you have a shitty attitude towards the world in general to the point where you take it out on people who you deem weaker or smaller than you. I don't care if for whatever reason you hate women (get over it). I don't care if you are just a Grade A Asshole who thinks the world owes you every damn thing you want and that you are just soooooo much better that people need to bow down to you.
I am of the belief that no one person is better than the next. With that said, I am, however, the type that if you do feel that way, I will be the first to make you feel and know otherwise. I'm not intimidated by muscles, big trucks or talk. I am a bitch when you give me a reason to be.
Ahh, now I feel better.
Hope everyone else had a great day! :)

Listen to the Beat of the Tom Tom

Its the weekend. Again. Feels like it just creeped up. Bastard.
Well, the weather finally cleared away. Its sunny and hot again. Just a little more humid. Yuck-ness supreme.
Wow, I think I had something in mind to blog about, but *poof* it has eluded me.
Until I remember...
My dreams have been getting so damn strange lately. And me thinking they are strange is, well, it just says ALOT. The only bright side is the awesome lesbian sex dream I had last night. Otherwise, my mind has been all over the place upon entrance to Dream Land. I know Gerard Butler has been in a recent dream too...just not the lesbian sex one. That would be odd. I mean...come on. Its Gerard Butler. He's attractive but not in a If-I-See-His-Sexy-Ass-I'm-So-Gonna-Mount-Him-And-Make-Him-Cry-For-More kinda way. And that's how I roll. If you're gonna do something, better not be half-assed. Unless that's just how you feel. And secondly, he's just not a woman. It would've just been a regular sex dream, when I find the lesbian ones, well, better!
Yeah, my mind is EVERYWHERE.
I went on some errands today and noticed that alot of stores have put out Halloween stuff. I LOVE Halloween. Its just not like it used to be when I was a kid. Wow, I sound old. But seriously, it seems so different. Eh, at least I get to stuff my face with chocolate between rings of the doorbell.
And then, I think: Wow, this year has absolutely flown by.
Crazy.
And then I'll be another year older.

Dear Mr. Sandman, Where the HELL were you last night?

This morning found me completely sleep deprived. I didn't get some sort of sleep until about five in the morning and then got up just an hour and a half later. The reason is that from the moment the sunset to about the time it rose again, the sky was littered with the most vivid lightning show. There were moments when my room was lit up with a bright white light. I would liken the experience to being in a room with a strobe light...and a low, bass-filled sound system as the soft, distant rumbling of thunder kicked in.
Don't get me wrong, I love storms- in all shapes and sizes...and brightness-es. But as I mentioned in my last post, I'm just constantly exhausted as of late. So I'm just sitting at my desk, trying my darndest to keep my eyes open. Gravity has a vice grip on my lashes wanting to draw closed the shades of my eyes. Its a battle I cannot lose. I am stubborn.
So far the only short-lived cure is popping cinnamon Altoids. Not too bad, I love cinnamon. I just can't feel my tongue.

Who'll Stop the Rain

Yes, I used a Creedence Clearwater Revival (or CCR, if you are hip and in the know) song title as the title of my blog. It fits. Sue me.

There is a nice reprieve from the rain. Torrential rain. I love it. Tropical Storm Hermine has passed through. It had been raining for two days almost non-stop, pretty much. Despite the humidity and raging pain in one of my knees as a result, I enjoyed it all. And now its in the lower 70s. Nice!

I had a pretty lackluster holiday weekend. Spending time with family is always draining. I'm not sure if its because they talk too loud or because I'm the black sheep. Yeah, they mostly sat with their backs to me. I went out of obligation. I have all but given up on trying to maintain relationships with them. It doesn't really bother me anymore. I've known from a very very early age that my parents have favored, considerably, my older sibling. The only trade off in attending family functions is the hope of seeing one of my cousin's kids. She adores me to no end. I still don't know what it is that makes her look up to me. I don't know if its because I take time to listen to her (although everyone should, she's not even in double digits age-wise but she has such a mouth on her and is beyond opinionated) or if its because I give her advice. Either way, she's great! If not for her, I wouldn't even bother showing up.
It was just the type of weekend where all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and laze around. Maybe do a little baking. But lately I've been beyond exhausted. I hate naps so anytime I have to just lay down for a bit (although its more like four hours). My body hates me and is rebelling.
Good times!

Happy Friday!

I'm so happy its finally Friday. Not because I have plans or anything. Just because. And it rained alot last night. When I turned in for the night, there were soft rumbles of thunder and a beautiful lightning show. Ah, I love summer thunder storms. Well, I just like storms in general. I sat outside on the porch for a while just enjoying this brief, rare ocurrance. The neighbor's cat decided to join me. She lazily layed by my side, tail sweeping around the porch. And she likes when I give her attention and scratch her back. It was relaxing for me too.
Wow.
Now, all I need to add to this story is a knitting project and some homemade chicken noodle soup, and I'm totally a throw blanket away from being a spinster! Ah, such lofty life goals.
Well, have a good weekend and have a safe Labor Day!