Sunday, July 31, 2011
Roll, Roll, Roll on Rollercoaster
Things were good the last couple of days. We talked, smoothed things out. Today, however, feels like he's not telling me something. Who knows anymore...
On another note, my allergies are killing me. Perhaps there's a sinus infection a-brewin'. And its hot outside.
All conspire to make wonderful times. (Sarcasm, btw)
On another note, my allergies are killing me. Perhaps there's a sinus infection a-brewin'. And its hot outside.
All conspire to make wonderful times. (Sarcasm, btw)
Friday, July 29, 2011
When a Twit Tweets
I became reacquainted with my twitter account. Holy hell, its depressing. I tweeted ALOT about Mr. X and...we'll leave it at that. Its kinda sad and funny at the same time. Its kinda a good thing I don't have any followers...
Looking for a good time? Check out @Velvet_Crushed
*facepalm*
Looking for a good time? Check out @Velvet_Crushed
*facepalm*
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
And Then it Hits Me Like a Ton of Bricks...
Yeah, twice in one day! I just had to come back.
For the first time in a really long time, I cried.
I realized I don't want to be a coward. I don't want him to vanish. I don't want us to not be a part of each other's lives.
Its making me tear up again to even think about writing this, but, I don't just want him to be a part of my life, I need him to be.
For a long time now, he's been such a major source of support. He's listened to me, even if it was something so minor that I blew out of proportion. He's just let me cry on the phone and never acted like I was bothering him.He let me have crazy rants (even about him). He makes me feel special. He makes me feel loved. He just makes me feel.
And I think that I wouldn't be struggling so much with all of this if he wasn't a HUGE part of my life. He's beyond important to me. It feels like he's right here with me, when he's soooo far away.
I hate that right now he feels so far away.
He's my best friend.
For the first time in a really long time, I cried.
I realized I don't want to be a coward. I don't want him to vanish. I don't want us to not be a part of each other's lives.
Its making me tear up again to even think about writing this, but, I don't just want him to be a part of my life, I need him to be.
For a long time now, he's been such a major source of support. He's listened to me, even if it was something so minor that I blew out of proportion. He's just let me cry on the phone and never acted like I was bothering him.He let me have crazy rants (even about him). He makes me feel special. He makes me feel loved. He just makes me feel.
And I think that I wouldn't be struggling so much with all of this if he wasn't a HUGE part of my life. He's beyond important to me. It feels like he's right here with me, when he's soooo far away.
I hate that right now he feels so far away.
He's my best friend.
Jane! Get Me Off This Crazy Thing!!!!
So I've been trying hard to keep my head on straight. Things keep moving so fast, I don't know which end is up lately.
And I can't help but think so much. Too much and that's just bad. It usually gets me into alot of trouble. Grr.
All I know is I can't help the way I feel as much as I'm currently wishing I could just change it. But at times like this I do wanna reduce myself to cowardice and take the "easy" road. Its safe.
And then part of me is just expecting him to vanish. So I guess as much as I'm passed Mr. X, the scars are still just a little fresh. But then again, I do have my reasons for feeling like we'll no longer be apart of eachother's lives anymore. (God, I hope he doesn't read my blog anymore).
I don't know, I was thrown for a loop the other night and I'm thinking he said things he really didn't mean. Maybe I'm not the only one not thinking straight. Its crazy. He's supposed to be my best friend, who I usually talk to about things. Where am I to go now? Yikes! Its weird talking to him about us.
Oh well.
We'll see how things work out.
And I can't help but think so much. Too much and that's just bad. It usually gets me into alot of trouble. Grr.
All I know is I can't help the way I feel as much as I'm currently wishing I could just change it. But at times like this I do wanna reduce myself to cowardice and take the "easy" road. Its safe.
And then part of me is just expecting him to vanish. So I guess as much as I'm passed Mr. X, the scars are still just a little fresh. But then again, I do have my reasons for feeling like we'll no longer be apart of eachother's lives anymore. (God, I hope he doesn't read my blog anymore).
I don't know, I was thrown for a loop the other night and I'm thinking he said things he really didn't mean. Maybe I'm not the only one not thinking straight. Its crazy. He's supposed to be my best friend, who I usually talk to about things. Where am I to go now? Yikes! Its weird talking to him about us.
Oh well.
We'll see how things work out.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I Guess That Foot Must Taste Pretty Good if I keep Sticking it in My Mouth...
*sigh* So have you ever said something to someone hoping things would turn out a certain way only for them to play out exactly the opposite? I just wanted it to be a happy moment. It just wasn't.
Some moments are happier in silence: lesson learned
Some moments are happier in silence: lesson learned
Maybe "Life" can be a losing game too...
I was just thinking about this song the other day. And then Amy Winehouse passed away. An amazing talent whose songs always seemed to fit my life well...
And I'm sorry to whoever put this video together...this isn't that great. Sorry!
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