Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sunday, Sunday...Topped with Ice Cream

Sunday, sunday, sunday. I hate Sundays.
Ok, I don't really hate Sundays, I just hate having to run errands on those days. And if I do have somewhere to go, I try to go as early as possible. I don't know why but it seems that people want to do any- and everything after church. As soon as 12pm hits, BAM!, every store, restaurant, parking lot is so crammed with people who just got out of church. I don't care that you go to church, I'm all for spirituality, I just don't like the attitudes some of these people have, like they are entitled to push passed you to grab the milk from the dairy case you just opened to get a gallon for yourself. No, I didn't JUST put my hand to take that loaf of bread from the shelf, GO AHEAD AND GRAB IT FROM ME... Its annoying. I don't get it, are all of your manners solely reserved for your morning service and once you get out, you become the Devil?
So, unfortunately, I had some errands to do and I couldn't get out until the afternoon. I'm glad to be done with it. I'm sure the people to whom I gave nasty glances and words to are happy its over too. I don't care who you are or where you've come from, rudeness from you does NOT inspire kindness in me. Thankfully, I digress...eventually.

This week, I think my cravings are slowly moving away from the Sweets food group. Although, since, its been warming up (humidly, I should add) I've been thinking about cold, creamy, soft ice cream. Mostly soft serve. I just wanna go to the ice cream shoppe and get a HUGE cone with just one big swirl of vanilla soft serve. Or maybe double dark chocolate ice cream with mini marshmallows. Yummy! I'll gladly endure a sugar-induced coma for a ton of that stuff.
I've also been wanting tacos. That craving varies from crunchy tacos from Taco Bell or even the ones from Jack-in-the-Box, to actual Mexican restaurant made-from-scratch-tortillas tacos. I want it all.
And now I'm hungry.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Life and Donuts

*Sigh* Well, I know there was something "meaningful" that I had been wanting to post about and yet, it escapes me. My mind has been full and racing. Thoughts, memories and ideas constantly swirling around in my head like...brain soup. At least this one isn't edible...Or, well, I hope not. That would be kinda disgusting. Then again, any kind of brain soup isn't appetizing. Unless you're into that kinda thing.
Anyway, getting off topic, though I don't think there really is one to begin with.
I guess I just feel "off" in some way. With life right now, there is alot going on and I'm just trying to sort everything out and file it away in its proper place. I really hate clutter.
The one bright side is that the weather is getting warmer. The downside is I can't start jogging again for a couple more months. I was thinking of trying to take my yoga out to the back yard. I think some sun would do me some good. If not, at the very least I can go for walks everyday.
Until then...chocolate glazed donuts beckon me forth. Sweet chocolate pillows from heaven.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Warm Hearts and Cold Shoulders

I guess I'll start by saying that I hope everyone had a great Valentine's day! I know I'm late, but oh well! Better late than never! I love Valentine's day, always have. Single or not, its just a day to do something nice for someone else, or hell, even yourself! What's wrong with doing something that makes you feel good? I had a great day, the weather was wonderful...and filled with chocolate goodness! My birthday has also come and gone. That was...not so good. I do not enjoy most of the time spent with my family. It just feels forced on both sides. They don't like me, I know and accept it. At least that's over with...

Another thing that has been bothering me is that "friend" of mine that completely blew up and inspired this entry. Of course, after being told that I am wanted in said person's life, I'm left without any further communications. Not even an explaination. Oh well..."friend" doesn't want me to assume they are like Mr. X, but will continue to act as such...Good job convincing me you're not. Pfft. I don't know why I'm letting myself get worked up about it anyway. I guess all I can do is get over it. Move on and if that person decides to open up and talk about things, fine. Otherwise and until then, just gotta wash my hands of them and the situation.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

All I Need Now is a Nap and Some TUMS

Today just isn't a good day. Such is life.
The only thing I regret, though, is devouring a giant sour pickle.
Note to self: ALWAYS choose dill pickle.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


It was cold today. I was in love with the weather!
But tonight, Perfection=snuggled up on the couch with some chocolates, tea and Courage the Cowardly Dog. I like cartoons. What of it!?!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

When a Strange Girl Has Yet Another Strange Dream

Oy vey! As if my dreams aren't enough to have me certified crazy as it is, I had, perhaps, the strangest dream last night...all without needing that XXX rating (*wink)
It started out "normal" enough. Just hanging out at a cafe with some people, chatting and having fun. Then I decided to whip out my laptop to check some email. Much to my dismay, there was an email from Mr. X (STILL annoyed that he makes random appearances in my dreams). I sigh, shrug and open the message. Slowly, intrigue turns to confusion as I make my way through the lines of type. He starts the email by apologizing for being a douchebag and mentions that he misses our friendship (blah, blah, blah) and then starts describing how he's "found" himself. He says that he's finally come to terms with his fetish for crossdressing males. He has even met and fallen in love with "Paul/Pauline". He even goes so far as to attach some lovely pictures of him and Paul/Pauline. Yes, one picture is of him and an obviously balding, older male both with goofy grins on their faces and the second picture is of him and Paul- all dolled up: Blonde curly wig, hideous blue frosted eyeshadow, nude lipstick and pink blush. The icing on the cake is the garrish 80s-style, shiny blue prom dress ensemble with black fishnet stockings and faux patent leather pumps. The cherry on top of all that goodness was Mr. X planting a huge kiss on Pauline's make-up-caked cheek.
Now, just to be clear, one of my favorite sayings and general rules of life is: To each, his own. I have been so lucky as to have been raised to be open-minded and accepting of people who are different from me. And I am. I love diversity. It makes the world go 'round. I just think that in the dream it was shocking and funny to see that just because it came out of nowhere. It was completely random and what would've been the point? Like he thought by sending me that it would be a shock? I don't care. Whatever floats your boat, makes you happy, completes you. All that jazz.
And really, why the hell would my mind decide to play that card? There had been times that I wondered if Mr. X was gay, but again, I wouldn't have cared.
Maybe it was my brain's way of joking with me, as if to say, "Ha ha! Bitch, you have NO control over me! I do what I want!" Maybe it was just comic relief especially after the last few days I've been having. Who knows at this point. It was definitely different from the other dreams I've had featuring Mr. X (a.k.a Douchey).
On a completely different note, apparently we are to going to get yet another round of "Winter Weather" here in good ol' South Texas. Hot cocoa with mini-marshmallows are a-callin' my name!
Lets see what picture-show awaits me after I drift off to slumber tonight!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Open Letter to a "Friend"

Dear "Friend",
There has been a recent upset in our relationship. I know (just about as well as anyone does) that sometimes well all go through rough times. I have called you crying and upset and asked for help/advice more times than I care to admit. You have always been there for me as I have for you. But no matter what, I have NEVER taken my anger/frustration/bad mood out on you. If I have been crabby or moody, you knew about it, but only because I told you. I choose not to show you. So when does it ever become acceptable to do that to me? I've said it before and I guess it bears repeating: You never take your shitty mood out on people you care about/love. Even if I did say something that you took the wrong way or if things were misinterpreted, try talking to me about it first before biting my head off. Nothing will piss me off faster and push me away more than misdirected anger.
And this isn't the first time you have done this. In the past I just let it slide and instead decided to let you talk it out and get to the bottom of things to help you turn it all around. I am but human and there are limits.
Another thing I do not appreciate one bit either is having things, especially past hurts and heartaches, thrown in my face. When I come to you with a problem, its in confidence, not to provide you with future ammo. Don't ever assume that I will apply any and all douchebaggery someone has done to me to all people. You have just proven that everyone is different in hurting people in different ways. And if that was just an asshole attempt in trying to make me feel just as shitty as you, congratulations! It worked. That little comment pissed me off more than you know. Your "harshness" was unwarranted, un-needed and definitely uncalled for.
So since you made things SO perfectly clear,and to answer your question, I would like to have you in my life, but on the proviso that you treat me like a human being the same as I treat you. Things get solved if you talk to me maturely instead of resorting to being an asshole. Sorry if that's too "harsh" for you.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sometimes My Dreams Should Have An "XXX" Rating...Or a "Soft Core for Women" Intro...

Bleh, I've had a headache all day. But I digress...
I had a strange-ish dream last night.
Its a sort of recurring dream in a sense that its the same person and I and it always leads to the same thing. The only variances are the place in which the dream takes place and the emotions behind the event that takes place.
Its me and this guy I've been friends with since childhood. We aren't exactly super close and we've kept in touch off and on. And I think I've been having these dream occassionally for about a decade and a half. I still have not been able to figure out the meaning behind these dreams. It always starts out the same, after some time we are hanging out alone just talking and catching up. Then, as usual, it leads to sex. Usually its just a quick, but emotionally intense experience, like lust takes over and we've no choice but to give in. And once we were both disgusted by the act afterwards, like there was just something wrong about what we had done.
Last night though was a first. This time in the dream we were talking and then he pulled me into him and kissed me deeply and passionately. I could even actually feel his hot breath on my skin and the feel of his touch on my back at first and then all over my body. We continued to kiss, each more intense than the last. Finally he lay on the bed, pulling me on top of him, and we began removing each other's clothing until at long last we were making love. For the first time, actually making love. For once there was emotion behind the act, not just the physical want. It was amazing, ya know, for a dream.
I just hate not knowing why I have those dreams at all. We never dated and as far as I know, he was never interested in me. I was probably the only girl in school that he never dated. We were just always friends. We'd hang out and do silly stupid things together.
And I hadn't even thought of him in a while. So, who knows!
Not that it was a bad dream, its just one of the very few dreams in which I can not place meaning behind. And now I have this killer headache. If I didn't have this horrible pain, I might've been able to write this in a more "flow-y" sense. Eh, oh well! I just wanted to get this down before I drifted off again to have this dream replaced by another. Such is life.

Saturday, February 5, 2011


Some people are just...frustrating. Sometimes. It makes me wonder why I even bother...

Sunny Saturday Morning

I awoke this morning to find some snow still on the roof of the house. I'm sure by the end of today it will be but a faint memory. Its warming up pretty fast outside. Nice. I'm planning on getting some shopping done while the weather is nice. Although...I hope I can tear myself away from the Glee marathon currently on TV. Yes, I love Glee... I love it good.
Its a tough choice because the sun is shining through the blinds, its warmth beckoning me forth. I think fresh air would be great right about now though.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Snow Day!

Well, it snowed. FINALLY!  We got measureable snow fall! I was so excited. I even got up late at night to watch the snow fall freshly on the ground. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Being outside in the back yard, in the chilly stillness of the night while everyone else cuddled up warmly in their beds. Just me and the gentle sound of the snow falling. It was absolutely amazing! The feel of the tiny flakes falling on my cheeks, being able to scoop up a bit of snow in my hands and run my fingers over the cold, tiny, white beads. I even walked out to the front of the house and saw the street completely covered in a thin veil of pure white, devoid of footsteps or dirty tire marks. A beautiful solid sheet of snow glowing in the night. I went back to bed with frozen, cherry-red cheeks and a smile on my face.
Of course, not everyone in my area had as great of a night. One highway found itself with a 50 car pile-up. Yup FIFTY cars...Sounds like great times. And in a town where snow fall is extremely rare, you better believe the whole area was completely shut down. Very few people had to report to work. Kids everywhere were elated to have a 3-day weekend and a few hours to play in the snow.
I spent my time baking. My house was filled with the scents of brownies, cookies and banana bread. Another plus is the gas oven kept the house pretty warm and comfortable. I greeted this evening with a bowl of Chicken Tortilla soup- one of my personal favorites. And later, I shall bid this perfect day adieu with a cup of Mexican hot chocolate and a little indulgence in my fresh-baked goodies. All in all it was a wonderful day!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

This Bitch is Back

Well, yes, it has been some time since I last posted. Life has been surprisingly busy. And now South Texas is gearing up for some actual winter weather. Its cold out there. I love it!
The holidays were good. Spend some nice time with the family. For once.
New Year's was decent as well. I know I'm gettin old when I have a hard time keeping my eyes open til midnight. I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions. And anyway if I did, I probably wouldn't mention them to anyone else. I don't need to broadcast the lies I make to myself. I jest! I guess much respect for those who not only set but keep their resolutions. As for me, I decided a long time ago that I would just continue to do as I have always done: try each day to the be the best person I can and live my life to the best of my ability.
But enough about New Years. Its already gonna be Groundhog Day. That's if the groundhog isn't completely snowed in. I wonder if he ever thinks "I got out of bed for this?" Probably not. He's just a groundhog.
I'm freezing. I think I need to go make some cocoa. Or tea. But definitely paired with something sweet to eat. I love sweets. Lately, my gluttonous indulgence of choice is donuts. The other day I had a chocolate glazed donut, my first in some time, and it was just the best thing ever. It was soft, fresh and the chocolate glaze was just perfection.
Ok, now I'm hungry.