So I've been trying hard to keep my head on straight. Things keep moving so fast, I don't know which end is up lately.
And I can't help but think so much. Too much and that's just bad. It usually gets me into alot of trouble. Grr.
All I know is I can't help the way I feel as much as I'm currently wishing I could just change it. But at times like this I do wanna reduce myself to cowardice and take the "easy" road. Its safe.
And then part of me is just expecting him to vanish. So I guess as much as I'm passed Mr. X, the scars are still just a little fresh. But then again, I do have my reasons for feeling like we'll no longer be apart of eachother's lives anymore. (God, I hope he doesn't read my blog anymore).
I don't know, I was thrown for a loop the other night and I'm thinking he said things he really didn't mean. Maybe I'm not the only one not thinking straight. Its crazy. He's supposed to be my best friend, who I usually talk to about things. Where am I to go now? Yikes! Its weird talking to him about us.
We'll see how things work out.