Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Is History Bound to Repeat Itself?

*sigh* I don't know. This current situation is starting to remind me of what happened with Mr. X(formerly Douchey). That scares the shit out of me. I hoped nothing of that magnitude would happen again. To hurt that much again would just crush me, especially with this person.
Sometimes, though, it feels like its supposed to happen. I'm supposed to let him go. I was told I was a "godsend" to this person and that I was brought into his life to help through a rough patch. That part's done and he has moved on. So where does that leave me?
And everything feels so different. Its felt different for a while. I don't know if he feels it or knows it. Last night I said something for which his response was not what I thought he'd say. When I asked about it, he said that he was saying what he thought I wanted him to say. And horribly, that made me wonder if everything he's said has been because he thought I wanted him to say it.
And I just feel incredibly stupid for letting this "friendship" become so complicated. For getting so attached. And nothing can ever be the way that it was.
So now, I don't know what to do. Am I faced with the decision to stay in his life or leave? Because now I'm just afraid to talk to him.


Just Two Chicks said...

Ugh... tough decision, and I don't think advice from anyone would help, even if it came from opposite ends of the spectrum. Mainly because you have to go with your gut.

Perhaps by now, you've spoken with him. It's been a few days... I hope things are easier with the passage of time, regardless.

Just remember, go with your gut, That's become our mantra around here. Even if our gut tells us something we don't want to acknowledge. Due to life experience, and lessons learned, within you lies the answer to whatever decisions you make and whatever questions you have. It kind of sucks at times!!

Velvet_Heaven said...

Thank you so much for that comment. And you are completely right.

Unfortunately, the decision as to what must be done was made for me. Life goes on!!