Sunday, October 23, 2011

As Summer Faded, So Did He

He's been slipping away for sometime now. We talk less and less. When we do talk, he cuts our conversations short. I can't even tell you what goes through my mind, what I think it means that he's passing up opportunites to spend time with me. I don't like feeling insecure. I won't. I'm going to have to lay it on the table and hope his reactions are honest.
You know, its not just with me that he's different. His whole life seems different. He used to be all about healthy eating and ate a certain way and would always tell me about the foods he was making. He would get excited when he found something new and nutritious to add to his menu. Enthusiasm is all gone from even that. I miss his random bursts of energy. It used to put a smile on my face when he would talk about his new discoveries.
I don't know. I wish I knew what was going on with him. With us.

I've spent time focusing on myself. I've done lots of things for me, things that always make me happy, but at the end of the day, he's still there, dangling by a thread in front of me and I come back to square one. I honestly don't know which should win out "fight or flight".

1 comment:

screamingnspace said...

well, it seems like you spend a lot of time worrying about him (which is only appropriate b/c you care about him), but at the end of the day you have to ask yourself one question:

are you happy?

if you're not happy with how things are, if he's not making you happy, if the only way he could make you happy is if he changed, then you're cheating both of you.