I smiled today.
It was nice.
Why did I smile?
Something inside me just sort of "clicked". I think that once and for all I can put Mr. X behind me. Which is amazing to feel free and healed.
I think this mostly came about because I was helping a friend through some drama with a guy. And she called me "Wise" with the advice I was giving her. She commented at how clearly I always see things and am able to diagnose and provide accurate advice to help her issues. So I really looked at her situation and the advice I gave and thought about how, in some aspects my words would apply to the situation with Mr.X (even though I am completely cut off from him communication-wise). So for once, I took my own advice. And it worked. So...If I could talk to him, I think this is pretty much what I would say:
Goodbye Mr. X. I loved you and cared for you more than you will ever know or care. Your friendship, at one time, meant so much to me and I loved all the great times we had. You provided a valuable and unforgettable experience in my life for which I have learned a great deal. I hoped that things would have ended in a more positive manner, however, I wish you luck and happiness with all that you do.
Always,
Forever Moved On
Eh, short but I guess that gets the point across. I just know that now I will never hurt again because of him. I entered into that relationship with him and, to be honest, thought it would be a strong, life-long companionship. Life has proved otherwise. And I know that the friends I do have in my life already are amazing and supportive and loving.
While I'm speaking on the subject of friends, I would like to thank my favorite blog stalker (and I think my only reader at this point) for all his support. I love you, buddy. Seriously though, dork, you need to tell me whether or not you wish to be anon. If so, I need a good nick name for you.
Otherwise, life is back on track and I am happy. I'm writing my short stories like freakin' crazy and its going so surprisingly well. One friend of mine thinks that once I finish, I should try and get them published. I laughed and said "Nobody likes short stories anymore". I think that mostly these are just for me. Like a well-written account of my dreams. Although, if I could make a decent living off being a published writer...I'd be happy...but nah..
Its just a great way to end August. If only it wasn't so damn hot. Then I'd be truly and completely happy. And then I could take over the world!
1 comment:
You helping your friend was the perfect counseling for you! That's exactly how I finally figured out how to make myself happy. I was helping a friend through a horrible break-up, giving all the advice she totally needed because my advice was based on my comparison of myself to her ex and her exes feelings. I really started looking inward, figured out what I was doing wrong in my life, and woohoo... I'm going strong. It's a relief and I'm very happy you've found that. Good luck with your stories too. I too am writing. I have my good writing days and I have my brain freeze days. :)
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