Friday, March 5, 2010

"Didn't you watch Boys in the Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot!"

Happy Friday! Wait, it is Friday, right? Hmm, I've officially been out sick from work (per doctor's orders) for so long now I've lost track of time...already! And then I say 'Happy Friday' and then someone reads this on, say, a Saturday or Sunday or what have you and they are thinking "Sheese, what an idiot, its (insert current day of the week at that time)!" And then I say 'Yeah, well, you know what?? You, sir/madam, are the idiot! It was what I believe to be Friday when I posted so bite your tongue Mr./Ms.!!!'
So now that I've gotten my random, psychotic intro out of the way...
What is on my agenda for this loverly Friday? It is a beautiful day here today, btw. Its cool-ish, cloudy and grey...albeit a bit humid so my hair is...yeah...
Well today finds me with my hand deep in a bowl of Almonds (raw and unsalted--I hate salt with a passion), curled up on the couch, net book in my lap and a stack of DVDs at my side. The DVDs are in the order in which I want to watch them. Most of them are girl movies, which, normally I don't care for, but I'm in that kinda mood. All I need is a bottle of wine. A sweet wine. Anyway, back to movies...
They are as follows:
1. Vicky Christina Barcelona
2. The Holiday
3. Zach and Miri Make a Porno
4. Casablanca
5. Groundhog Day
6. Paranormal Activity
7. I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
And currently playing: Swingers!!!!
Aren't they so money?
I can't even begin to explain how awesome I think this movie is...ok, I'll try.
Usually this is my "I've just broken up with someone" movie. I watch it and cry and wonder if men really do have feelings like women and as portrayed in the movie. Or is Jon Favreau the only one?
But I digress...
I love the opening scene where Mr. Favreau and a very super-uber sexy Ron Livingston are in the diner. I have found that what "Rob" (as played by Mr. Livingston") says, "Somehow they know not to come back until you really forget", is absolutely true. Then I cry a little harder and pray to forget so whoever can come back and I can be whole and happy again. Isn't it amazing what delusions heartbreak can create?
Here's what really happens*:
Week 1:
Watch Swingers almost nonstop
Eat chocolate (like I don't shovel it in by the truck load already)
Wish, hope, pray that Ex Lover will come crawling back and realize that I'm the perfect girl
Journal about said person about all the good things and good times

Week 2:
Repeat Week 1
Journal about how Ex Lover and I each deserve to be happy even if its not with eachother
Have horrible dreams about Ex Lover
Increase chocolate consumption
Sit alone in dark kitchen eating cereal out of the box sans milk of any kind

Week 3:
Repeat Week 1
Repeat Week 2
Journal about how I hate Ex Lover so damn much and all Ex Lover ever did was bring misery and pain into my life. Ex Lover is a damn liar and deserves nothing but heartache and emptiness forever.
Venture out in public- dressed to impress- and count how many people who resemble Ex Lover check me out/hit on me
Cry just a little more
Make a mix of songs that remind me of Ex Lover

Week 4:
Wake up happy and "over it"
Go about my usual life
Hang out with friends again who have all but forgotten my name and what I look like
Forget about Ex Lover

Week 5 (or beyond):
Receive random text/email/phone call from Ex Lover

Ok, well I guess I've gotten off the subject here...
So Swingers is awesome! It is on my list of favorite movies EVER!
I just really like how I can relate to Jon Favreau's character. Although, I think most of us can. And I'm rambling... Remind me not to watch movies and blog at the same time! (Ha!)
Its funny, helps me put things into prospective while still allowing me to take my mind off things. There, I said it.
And sometimes I don't need to be heartbroken to watch it. Like today, I'm just in the mood for it!
Well, this ramble has gone on long enough! Instead of talking about my other choices I'll cut this short for now! Anyway I'm nom nom nom-ing on some yummy salad!

*Extreme exaggeration, here

Side note: The title of this entry is a line from Swingers. That particular scene was playing whilst I was thinking of a title...


The Drunk Mommy Diary said...

hahahahaha! i did the same sequence of weeks when i was in a break up last year, except my chocolate consumption was actually energy drinks, 40's of Old E (yes, i said that) and a series of one night stands. i think you're doing better than i did. and you'll be okay, girl, get on with your bad self!

D-lite said...

You better have watched every single one of those movies on your list or I am never talking to you j/k I have not seen swingers....I know don't even say what your going to say. *adds it to my netflix que* geez... =)

Velvet_Heaven said...

Ha ha! Wow. Old E! Nice! That always reminds me of that movie Poetic Justic (w/Janet Jackson, Derrick!) "They ain't got no Old E?"
I don't know. I think I could be really bad like that but I just can't bring myself to engage in one night stands. Not that there's anything wrong with that, btw! Thank you for the vote of confidence! I'm learning how to grow up!

And, yes, I did watch all the movies. You, sir, better watch Swingers! Its a cult classic. Really. :D

The Drunk Mommy Diary said...

favorite things for break ups: kate nash "shit song" . . . buy an old man sweater from goodwill and dance to "shit song" wearing only old man sweater, skivvies and knee-high socks . . . post it notes- write things like "good morning beautiful" and "better off without ____ " and stick em to your mirror. buy sexy top and go to pub with a best friend. wear bright red lipstick . . . get haircut and free yourself of your past. . .

Velvet_Heaven said...

Hey, that's not too bad! I like that!