Waking up this morning was nice. Its dark, gray and beautiful out, albeit a little humid. I liked my weekend.
I attended a house party. Those are always interesting and fun. A friend of mine invited me as she and her roommates (members of a local band) were hosting a birthday party for one of their band members. And even though I had not previously met the birthday boy, I was still stoked to go because I get along great with that group of people. Add to that mix a rare thing for me: drinking. Good times were had by all, mostly.
The night started out great, lots of laughing and talking and, well, mixing drinks. I met quite a few people that I hadn't before, so it was nice getting to know new folk. And I think what makes people comfortable with me is that in social situations I come across as confident and approachable. I can maintain a conversation with anyone. Quite frankly I think that attitude has alot to do with my getting ready. I always dress to impress...me. When I pick something out to wear it is never with the thought of "Will people think I look hot in this?" its always about me being pleased with how I look. That's the most important thing. I want to make sure I feel comfortable. That's all. When I do, I'm relaxed and in turn, I guess that makes others feel relaxed. So everyone wins! Bonus! Of course its confusing too.
That kind of thing has its ups and downs.
At one point I was chatting with this girl. She was blonde with sleepy, but amazing green eyes and a diamond in her nose. We were out on the back patio where guests go to smoke. She's telling me about how she's been trying to quit smoking. I applaud her efforts because, well, I think its awesome when people try to do things for the benefit of health (ok, so it seems hypocritical seeing as how we're drunk...). She then begins to change the conversation into how great she thinks I am which then turns into her hitting on me. I'll NEVER complain about a hot girl hitting on me. And even though I was hoping maybe I'd get to kiss her a bit, I was whisked away by a friend to be introduced to some other people. Which is still ok. That girl went the rest of the night telling people how awesome I am every time she saw me around. And really, seeing her eyeing me from across the room at times stirred up some...desires. All in all not a bad feeling.
Wow. I kinda sound conceited, don't I?
Well, as a side, I've always been the girl with low self-esteem, even now I suffer a little bit of that. But having changed physically from what I once was, I'm growing comfortable with how I look which gives me confidence and a better self esteem which I guess becomes noticeable to others which then leads to attention. I'm not in any way an attention-whore but I do like when I find people attractive and they find the same in return. But of course the only thing that matters is that first and foremost I like me. I'm just enjoying seeing how I feel about myself effects how other people feel about me. Its my time of exploration. Mama, I'm becoming a woman.
So really even though this is mostly about going to a party, its also about putting down and analyzing my interactions with others and their reactions to me. And that gets interesting...
Early in the evening I notice (because its not hard to notice a 6ft 7in tall guy who is extremely skinny. Seriously, one of his legs was almost 1/3 the size of one of mine and well, anyone else's too! My gawking is interrupted by my friend asking me if I'd go with her to get something to eat. We all know drinking isn't good for you, but even worse is drinking on an empty stomach. Eating something, especially a fatty food like hamburgers, will slow down the absorption rate of alcohol in the blood. (wow, I can't believe I remember that from a course I took in college for my culinary degree) My friend asks her roommates if they'd like anything as well seeing as how they mostly spent their time preparing for the night and skipped dinner. Tall Guy wants to go with us. Since he's tall he gets to ride shotgun while I retire to the back of the car, shoving aside various junk littering the backseat. But I'm happy that one of the roommates left their A Perfect Circle CD playing so we had awesome tunes for the short trip. However Tall Guy decides he wants to talk to us about a Dildo business he's starting up. Its kinda creepy.
I was happy to return to the house and join less creepy people. The unfortunate thing is that Tall Guy decides to periodically follow me throughout the night. This included cornering me in the kitchen and telling me about his nipple fetish. It was something like: "I have this thing about nipples. Unlike other guys, I like to spend quite a bit of time on a girl's nipples. I take my time with them, sucking, biting, licking them. And I don't have a thing just about girl's nipples, also my own. I'm into nipple clamps and hooking them up to batteries for shocking." At this point a couple of others present were laughing because I was covering up my own chest with my hands. But those guys did come to my rescue so I can't be mad at them for laughing. Bastards. I make my escape but it doesn't end there, he decides to sit with me for a while later. I was kinda glad when he left. Poor guy. Still creepy.
The rest of the night was great. I met a funny EMT whom I made laugh to the point where he was crying which I later found out was a good thing since he's usually the funny one and its hard to make him laugh. Then one of the guys in the band, recognized him right away because a friend in high school had a horrible crush on the guy even though he didn't know she existed. Ironically he knew I did. I was chatting with his wife and he stood there staring at me then said "you know what? you look so familar!" Not wanting to be weird, I just said "Yeah, you do too" pretending to think about where I could possibly know him from. Then he mentioned high school and I pretended to think a bit more then have a moment of realization. Ha ha! But its nice to know I wasn't such an invisible nerd back then. *facepalm
There was a couple (whose names I'm keeping out of this, but just know that the guy has a common girl's name and the girl has a common guy's name) that are expecting their first child together. They are so funny and quite frankly I think the guy is super hot. I spent quite a bit of time talking with them and feeling hopeful for the future (theirs and mine) as he excitedly talked about being a father soon. He was so worried about being a parent and talked to me about his worries and fears. Especially that he wouldn't be a good father. I told him that it seems he will be considering that he's even thinking of such things and that he's planning for the arrival. He's very commited to his girlfriend and the impending wee one. *looks at watch and wonders how long it will be until I find a guy who'll be that in love with me* ha!
I think that perhaps my favorite thing was meeting this guy who was amazing to talk to. I was introduced to him early in the night and didn't really pay too much attention to him. It wasn't until I started talking with him on an otherwise empty patio that I thought "hey this guy is kinda cute". And we had a great conversation. Then I made eyes at him, he made eyes at me and I thought he would actually kiss me. Then came Super Hot Soon to be Dad from earlier. He wanted to smoke. But we both hung around and talked with him. It was nice that Cute Guy stood next to me the entire time. I mean shoulder to shoulder. Nice. Until my best friend came drunkenly spilling out onto the patio with her drama whisking me away and honestly, embarassing me. But they know her and how she is when she gets drunk (which is rare for her too).
After trying to calm her down and sort out that drama I just decided to leave. I was never so glad to climb into my own bed. *sigh* What a night!