Sunday, August 7, 2011

All That I've Been Holding Onto For So Long

I have been thinking so much about everything, lately. My past, my present and what it means for my future. I know I'll never be able to sleep unless I get it all out now.

Sometimes I wish I could be stronger.
Sometimes I wish I could forget.
Sometimes I wish I never knew.
Sometimes I wish I never saw your smile.
Sometimes I wish I never trusted you.
Sometimes I wish I never was there for you.
Sometimes I wish I never looked.
Sometimes I wish I never gave you so much of me.
Sometimes I wish I could have been everything you wanted.
Despite everything, I can never give up on love.
I can never close myself off to the world or to life.
I can always wish that there is someone who'll love me as much and as fiercely as I love them.
I have hope that there is someone who wants me, all of me, and will take me as I am: scars, tears, sorrow.
Take the bad with the good.
Let me cry. Let me laugh. Let me scream.
Let me be who I am and never want to change me.
I don't need to believe that I am beautiful; just honestly love me because my heart, my soul, my mind is beautiful.
Find me irreplaceable.
Be lost without me.
Have patience with me.
Desire me.
Long for me.
Love me, care for me, be there for me not because I deserve it but because you want to be.
There is someone out there who'll love, respect and be thankful for all that I am and all that I give.
I know. I believe. I have faith


Just Two Chicks said...

LOVE it... I love this way more than your songs. I thought you were actually quoting a song.

Just know that you will find someone who will love and cherish you beyond your wildest imagination, and when you find that person, there will be no drama, no love me hate me roller coaster, no horrible, put-down, I want to break up arguments. When it's right, it won't be questioned by either of you, and you'll just fall into place with each other. It won't be all romance. It won't be all lovey-dovey, but it will be perfect for you.

When I started my blog, I had titled it
Perfectly Imperfect. You have to have someone whose faults mesh with yours... because we all have them. So your "soul" mate will be perfectly imperfect.
It will happen.

The Bipolar Diva said...

this is beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

Velvet_Heaven said...

Thank you sooo much for the comments. This is just basically my response to all my failed relationships.
Onwards and upwards