Thursday, August 25, 2011

An End is Almost at Hand

First, I would like to thank one of my readers for taking the time to give some much needed (and very much appreciated) advice.
Second, I just wanna note how odd it is to write about a situation that is so current/ongoing. I guess with Mr. X I was used to writing about all that had already happened instead of what just happened and what might happen. And too, I don't know how he'd feel about me blogging about our "business". Its all anon so I hope thats ok. This is the best place for me to vent or unload my mind instead of going back to him a million times over with the same thing.

Which brings me to my current state. I let Sweetness know that I would email him some of my feelings and concerns. I was so tired of sitting on things/issues and wanted them out in the open for us to discuss and conclude upon. He sent me a text that he did receive and read my email but needed time to respond so as to gather his thoughts. And he said he was thinking alot about me.
Yup.
That's a little scary. Its almost exactly what Mr. X said so long ago when we were on the (at the time unknown to me) brink of departing.
So, I've been preparing myself for a new separation from yet another best friend with whom things have gotten too complicated. I don't even know if that's right to expect the worst. To expect that he would just leave me. But it just feels like the most logical conclusion. If that's how it goes, it will hurt. A lot. But at the same time, I still just want us both to be happy. Even if that means moving on from eachother. I don't know. My mind is in a strange place where its blank and all over the place at the same time. We'll see how it turns out.
Thank you to all who've lent support and words to me in this super crazy time! I'm always appreciative of my readers and commentors. :)

3 comments:

Just Me said...

A man's perspective perhaps? I'm not entirely sure this will be of any use in your current situation but maybe in the future. In my humble experience, sometimes when a woman first befriends a man, she jumps in with both feet---metaphorically speaking. She tells him all of her hopes and dreams. She tells him of her weaknesses and hangups. What she desires and what she's looking for. Women are wired this way. You need to be honest and upfront and forthwith. The problem is not so much that women do this. The problem lies in the fact that women give TOO much information about all of this TOO soon. I know that when I first meet someone, I don't really want to know EVERYTHING about her our first evening out or even our fifth evening out. I want to experience her and find some of these things out on my own as I listen to what she says, but more importantly to what she doesn't say. Just my 2 cents worth. Have a great weekend.

Just Two Chicks said...

I'm not sure whether it's best to think expect the worst or not. I feel like expecting the worse at least prepares me a little? BUT is it the best thing? The wife would say we're sourcing the bad if we expect it... hmmm. Who knows?! All I know is I hope the best for you!!! No matter what that is... happiness no matter what form it takes :) I'll be watching and reading for updates and I'm sending good karma your way :)

Velvet_Heaven said...

Hmm I can understand the whole "women giving too much too soon". I'm not even sure if two years worth of friendship is actually me giving too much too soon. There are times we've talked most of the day (conversations he's initiated) and we just talked about anything and everything that came up. Both equally giving in the getting to know each other. I know he doesn't know everything about everything that is me. I know his ENTIRE dating history, yet he doesn't know mine...
I'm the listener.
Just giving an example!

@ Just Two Chicks I'm an optomistic pessimist :) Although I do kinda think overly expecting the worst sets one up for self-fulfilling prophecy. But expecting it a little does make for some preparation in the event things to tilt that way...
Thank you for the good karma! One can never have too much!